Dale Moss is opening up about feeling “f–king rocked” over his and Clare Crawley‘s split.
Just two months after getting engaged to Clare, The Bachelorette contestant announced he was a single man in a shocking Instagram post on Jan. 19. Making it more surprising? Shortly after he announced their breakup, the 39-year-old hairstylist broke her silence and said it was all news to her.
Since going their separate ways, the former couple has briefly discussed their heartache on social media. However, on Sunday, Jan. 30, Dale shared an emotional Instagram Live video, in which he tearfully admitted he was “shaking” just thinking about the situation.
“I talk so much with family and friends about everything that’s gone on. The situation with Clare, it’s f–king sucked, you know,” he expressed. “And I think everyone looks for a right answer and a right way to handle these things… and there really isn’t one.”
Dale explained that he’s always been someone his loved ones can lean on, but he finds himself being the one who needs support right now.
“This has been a learning experience for me, as someone…who’s had to provide for everybody all the time, for friends, family, and if I was hurting, not even having an option to keep going,” he said, wiping away his tears. “This has f–king rocked me. I felt so many emotions and so much guilt, but also so much confusion and so much hurt.”
Dale acknowledged that he’s not the only one experiencing pain, saying he and Clare are both hurting during this time. He also revealed they tried “looking for so many answers before all of this even happened on how to make things better.”
“But the reality of it is,” he went on, “life isn’t perfect. And we make mistakes. I know I’ve made a lot of them, we all do. My pops would always say you gotta hurt before you can heal. I’ve been f–king hurting a lot.”
The 32-year-old athlete recalled wanting to be with someone so badly, however, some things just weren’t meant to last.
“I got so numb, I just f–king cold and numb to feeling where nothing would phase me, and I remember sitting and praying like, I just want to feel again, I want to fight again, I’m tired of going through things, you know being alone,” he shared. “And then, you have these ideas for how things are supposed to go, what you’ll stand for, what you’ll put up with, what you want out of a relationship, what you want out of love. And when you really fall that s–t goes out the f–king window.”
“The smallest thing can cut you the deepest, and I think about this year just with everything that’s gone on,” he continued, “and act like everything’s OK, but f–k, we all go through it and I think the biggest thing is knowing that’s OK. And you can’t do everything, you can’t be everything for everybody.”
Dale said he wanted to get on IG Live to show his followers that “this is real.”
“The things people go through is real,” he explained, “Understanding that what I’ve learned in this situation… Even if you feel low, it does get better. I think a lot about what I’ve wanted out of life. What I used to want and how things have changed so much this year. I just feel f–king wrecked and I thought the things that would make me feel better, the things I thought would make me feel better ended up making me feel worse.”
While the reality TV personality didn’t specifically address the infidelity rumors, in which he was accused of cheating on Clare throughout their relationship, he did own up to his past mistakes—that he chose to not disclose.
“I’m man enough to understand and realize [the] mistakes that I’ve done,” he said. “Trying to put pride aside, pray more and just try to make the best decisions now moving forward… it takes time. All this s–t takes time. At the end of the day, it’s about doing what makes you happy… F–k my heart was just f–king heavy, especially the last week. And at the end of the day, I think we all try to do the best that we can and make the best decisions that we think at the time. It doesn’t mean it’s the right one.”
Before signing off, Dale thanked his fans for their love and support, “not only to myself… also to Clare.” He added, “I know she has been f–cking going through it, and whatever the case, I know that we will figure this out together whatever it is.”
Just yesterday, Jan. 29, Clare opened up about how she’s been handling their split. Click here to see what she had to say. Plus, stay up to date on all of the latest Bachelor Nation news here.